Brothers
by Mako-clb
Summary: When Seiten Taisei gets loose, Goku may find the consequences are more than he can bear.
1. Waking Up

Disclaimer: The boys belong to Minekura-sensei. I'm just borrowing them for awhile. I make no profit from this, and I don't intend to.

Notes: This is rated PG for language (hello, this is _Saiyuki_ ), descriptions of violence, and character death. The story takes place prior to Saiyuki Reload Blast, which makes it an AU.

 **Brothers  
** by Mako-clb

 **Chapter 1: Waking Up**

Goku shifted, half-formed thoughts of breakfast floating through his mind as it and his body slowly awoke. He lay there with his eyes closed for a few moments, debating if he should go back to sleep or get up and eat, but his decision was made for him.

"I know you're awake, so stop pretending," Sanzo said.

"I'm up! I'm up! Let's get breakfast," Goku said as he got out of bed and looked around for his clothes, deciding food was always more important than sleep. "I feel like I haven't eaten in days. Hey, do they have a buffet here?"

"How would I know?"

Goku glanced out the window as he put on the first things he grabbed out of his bag, which happened to be his jeans and a t-shirt. "Shit, it's late! That crappy kappa's probably eating all my breakfast."

"Don't worry about that idiot."

"But, that stupid cockroach will eat everything!"

"I told you not to worry about him," Sanzo said as he fished around in his robe. "Just go downstairs and ask the clerk to send some food up to the room. If he complains, just tell him to put it on our tab. And then, you come right back here."

"Huh? We're not gonna eat downstairs?"

"Just do what I tell you."

"But, how come?"

Sanzo's paper fan descended on its target, followed by Goku's usual "Ow!" and head rubbing. "What the hell? I didn't do anything."

"Don't question me," was all Sanzo said as he turned back to his newspaper and coffee.

Goku just shrugged and turned to leave the room when he realized something. He and Sanzo must have shared a room last night, but Goku didn't remember. He usually did because Sanzo made a big fuss about it; Sanzo preferred to room alone or, if he had to share, with Hakkai. It sucked to forget good stuff like that, but a great breakfast would help make up for it.

 **-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-**

Goku was just finishing his last moon cake when Hakkai knocked on the door. Goku knew it was Hakkai because of the knock. Angry yokai and Gojyo wouldn't knock, and the innkeeper was too in awe of Sanzo's title to disturb the priest. So, Goku reached for the napkin instead of licking his fingers. Finger-licking was more fun, but it was bad manners. Hakkai really disliked bad manners. Sanzo was already acting all weird, and Goku didn't want Hakkai getting all scary, too.

"C'min," Goku called around a mouthful of moon cake.

"Ah," was all Hakkai said as he walked in wearing a big smile. Goku swallowed hard. It was one of Hakkai's scary smiles, the kind that looked like they hurt Hakkai to make. Smiles shouldn't hurt. If they did, then maybe you weren't supposed to be smiling.

"How are you feeling?" Hakkai asked, sitting down next to Goku.

"I'm good. I'm still hungry, but not starving hungry, ya know?"

"I'm glad to hear that. I have something important to talk to you about, and I want to make sure you're feeling up to it."

"Okay," Goku said when Hakkai just kept looking at him.

"What do you remember about our battle a few days ago with Kougaji-san and Dokugakuji-san?" Hakkai asked.

"Huh, that was just yesterday," Goku said, getting an uneasy feeling.

"No, it was three days ago. You've been asleep since then," Hakkai said. "I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but somehow your diadem came off. Sanzo found it not far from where you were, unbroken. Did you…remove it?"

"Crap!" Goku instinctively reached for his diadem, fingers easily finding the gold band securely wrapped around his head.

"It doesn't matter," Hakkai continued. "In any case, it was much like that time in the desert. You were attacking Kougaji-san. When he fell, Dokugakuji-san forced his way between you two. And, when Dokugakuji-san fell, Gojyo tried to protect him."

"Gojyo's okay, right? Right?" Goku asked, suddenly realizing he hadn't seen the redhead since waking up and knowing that in his other form he didn't always recognize friend from foe.

"Gojyo received a mild concussion and a few scrapes and bruises, but otherwise he's fine, physically."

"For fuck's sake, we don't have time for this," Sanzo said, finally putting his paper down. "That idiot kappa's brother is an even bigger idiot for trying to take on the Seiten Taisei, and that's why he's dead. End of story. Got it?"

Sanzo walked away, the door shutting behind him before Goku had a chance to process what he said. Then Goku heard Hakkai say, "I'm sorry. I tried to stop you, but I couldn't. Sanzo, he found your diadem without too much trouble, but it was already too late."

"I killed Gojyo's brother," Goku whispered, looking at Hakkai as if begging to be corrected.

"Yes," Hakkai said. "I'm afraid you did."

 _to be continued_

Author's Notes: I started this story more than a year ago, but set it aside before I finished chapter 2. That was long before I saw a single episode of _Saiyuki Reload Blast_. But, after seeing the recent episodes on Hulu, I was inspired to start working on this again. So, while I had this idea before I saw Reload Blast, it did help inspire the story, sort of.


	2. Facing the Day

Disclaimer: Nothing here really belongs to me. The boys belong to Minekura-sensei. I make no profit from this, and I don't intend to.

Notes: This is rated PG for language, descriptions of violence, and character death. The story takes place prior to Saiyuki Reload Blast, which makes it an AU.

 **Brothers  
** by Mako-clb

 **Chapter 2: Facing the Day**

Goku sat silently, poking at his food. He was hungry, but it didn't feel right to eat—not when Gojyo hadn't had more than beer and cigarettes for the last three days. Not when he had killed Gojyo's brother.

When Goku had finally convinced Hakkai to tell him everything, it only made him feel worse. The others hadn't seen the diadem come off, but they had seen Goku attacking Kougaji and beating him badly. Dokugaku stepped between them, but Goku had batted away the sword with one swipe and slashed the man's throat with the second. Dokugakuji fell to the ground. Gojyo jumped between them, trying to shield his brother. Sanzo found the diadem a few feet away at the same time Hakkai tried to hold Seiten Taisei back. Hakkai was thrown off and tried to scramble to his feet as Seiten Taisei grabbed the swinging shakujo and used it to send Gojyo flying into the ground, briefly knocking him out. By that time, Kougaji was trying desperately to staunch the blood from Dokugaku's wounds. Seiten Taisei lunged for the two men, but Sanzo was close enough by then to shove the diadem back on. Goku collapsed immediately, and Hakkai rushed to heal Dokugakuji. But, it was too late; the slash was too deep; he'd lost too much blood too fast. Hakkai said he probably died almost instantly. Without a word, Kougaji had carried Dokugakuji away.

When Gojyo came to a few moments later, the first thing he did was ask about his brother. Sparing him the details, Hakkai had simply said he was dead. Since that moment, Gojyo had done almost nothing but smoke and drink beer. He barely spoke, even to Hakkai, and only barely managed to drag himself to the bathroom to puke or piss.

Goku was torn between wanting to see Gojyo and desperately wanting to avoid him. Gojyo wasn't like Sanzo and Hakkai; he usually bounced back from shit real fast, rarely staying mad or moody for long. So, Goku was finding it real hard to believe Gojyo was acting like Hakkai said. But, Hakkai wouldn't lie about something like that. And, Goku knew how he'd feel if Sanzo died. If Gojyo felt that way now, then maybe he really was messed up. But, the scariest part was that Gojyo was probably really angry; he might even hate Goku. And, if Gojyo did, Goku knew he deserved it. But, Goku didn't really want to find out because as long as he didn't see Gojyo, he could pretend that they were still friends.

When Goku had finally gotten up the nerve to see Gojyo, Hakkai had politely, yet firmly, suggested it might not be the best idea. Hakkai wouldn't say why. When Goku asked if Gojyo hated him, Hakkai assured him Gojyo could never hate him. Goku wasn't sure he believed that; it was the kind of thing Hakkai would lie about.

Twice Goku had tried to ask Sanzo what to do, but all Goku got was a smack on the head and an order to stop being stupid by worrying about other people's stupidity. Goku knew Sanzo was trying to tell him it wasn't his fault. Despite what Sanzo said, Goku wasn't being stupid, at least not about this. It didn't matter if he remembered or not, Goku had killed Gojyo's brother. He knew it, and Gojyo knew it.

 **-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-**

Goku sat on the bed, hugging his knees to his chest as he looked at the empty bed next to him. Sanzo had gone to the bath house. And, even though Sanzo had been more irritable than usual, complaining about how noisy Goku was even while he was being quiet, Goku had found Sanzo's presence more comforting than usual.

Even when Sanzo wasn't talking and he was ignoring Goku, he kept the silence at bay. Now, it was all around, and Goku hated it. All Goku could think about was what he had done.

When he heard the knock on the door, Goku was disappointed and grateful, disappointed that it wasn't Sanzo, but grateful that he wouldn't be alone.

"C'min."

Goku looked up when Hakkai walked in and immediately wished he hadn't. Hakkai still had that painful smile on his face.

"How are you feeling, Goku?"

Goku didn't want to lie, but he didn't want to make Hakkai's creepy smile get bigger. He didn't know what to say, so he sat their squirming a bit before Hakkai took pity on him.

"I know this has not been easy on you," Hakkai said as he sat down on Sanzo's bed. "Sanzo said you haven't been eating with your usual gusto."

"Gusto?"

"Ah, it means you haven't been as energetic."

"What about Gojyo?" Goku asked, and his voice sounded small even to him.

"He is doing as well as can be expected," Hakkai said in that way he had of answering without answering.

"That mean he's eating?"

"Ah, not as such," Hakkai said, the smile getting wider and scarier. "Is that why you have not been eating?"

"It just feels wrong, you know?"

"I agree. Things do not seem right. But, you aren't helping Gojyo by not eating."

"How do I help?" Goku asked. Why hadn't he asked Hakkai before? Hakkai was real smart, and he knew Gojyo better than anybody.

Hakkai didn't say anything. In fact, it was suddenly quiet enough that Goku could hear his own breathing.

In. Out. In. Out. In.

"I don't know."

 _to be continued_

Author's Note: Please review. Even if it's just a simple "I like it," it makes my day.


	3. Coping

Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing the Sanzo party. They really belong to Minekura-sensei.

Note: This is rated PG for language and character death. The story takes place prior to Saiyuki Reload Blast, which makes it an AU.

 **Brothers  
** by Mako-clb

 **Chapter 3: Coping**

Goku took a deep breath, checked the hall for Hakkai, and since Hakkai wasn't around he headed next door. Goku hesitated as he reached for the doorknob. He was scared. He opened the door.

The first thing that hit Goku was the smell: alcohol, cigarette smoke, sweat, and stink. Then Goku saw Gojyo, and even more than the stink, the sight before him made his stomach turn.

Gojyo's face was pale, with a sickly yellow cast to it. His lips were cracked and bleeding. His eyes were sunken, and there were dark circles under them. He was slumped on the floor, his head hanging to one side and his hands shaking as he tried to light a cigarette. Gojyo's red hair, which had once made Goku think of flames, was now a dull, ratty mess.

"You shouldn't be here," Hakkai said, moving in front of Goku.

"I gotta talk to Gojyo."

"Not now," Hakkai said firmly, ushering him out the door.

 **-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-**

Goku turned over. He pushed the sheet down. He brushed his fingers across his diadem. He turned over again.

"Go to sleep," Sanzo said, enunciating each word.

Goku sat up, bracing himself on his arms. "I can't."

Sanzo grunted. Goku saw the lighter's flame out of the corner of his eye and was grateful for the comforting smell of tobacco that followed.

Sanzo took several drags of his cigarette before he spoke.

"Stop thinking about it."

Goku shifted so he was sitting on the bed facing Sanzo, elbows on his thighs.

"I can't." Goku watched end of the cigarette burn a little brighter as Sanzo took another drag. "I don't know how to fix it."

"You can't _fix_ other people. If you could, I'd have done it already." Sanzo brought the cigarette close to his lips, but instead of taking another hit, he said, "Those two are useless to me right now. And, so are you."

Goku shook his head, then realized Sanzo probably couldn't see. "It's not their fault."

"Maybe not."

Goku sat up suddenly. He waited for Sanzo to say something else. When he did, it didn't make Goku feel any better, even though he knew Sanzo meant it to.

"But, it was going to happen eventually. They're our enemies."

 _to be continued_

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has followed this story. I would love it if you would write a quick review. Yes, I'm resorting to begging. ^_^


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